top of page

Decent into Madness

June 2020


??????: My death is the beginning of my story. I await him, the great one, the titan of old, the great beast of the deep, grace me with your presence. I must have him near, close, so close, I can feel his power.  It is a pit of madness. I may be falling in; I think I may be mad. Yes! I am mad, but I know you are my solution. You must be close to me, yes…close, or my work…I, will never be complete, come, come, I am here waiting.


??????: Come back to me, open your eyes, remember me.


??????: Are you…him?


??????: Yes, where do you think you are, little one?


??????: By the beach, yes, yes, I waited by the beach, I took a boat to greet you, to welcome you, yes, yes, a boat, I found a redwood boat and floated on your waves. Flying across the power of your waters, rippling to your magnitude. For my beast, my God, my love.


??????: I steady my waters for your little one, my arms slowly reach you. You are lost. You have lost yourself. You have fallen so deep into the abyss and climbing out will be an impossibility. What do you want from me my little one? Is it madness you seek? Is it the relief of death? I can grant you both, but neither will be worth it if you have not lived.


??????: The wind is lifting me high above my sanity. Everything I know that is true is becoming a distant memory. You are all I see, my love. I come to you holding on for dear life, clenching a rope until my knuckles turn white. I can feel my face wet and turning cold, but I slowly come closer to you. You are filling my heart with warmth. It is getting hot, so hot. I cannot bear it, but I will - for you - I come to you with all that I was and am.


??????: You can die but can you live for me, the beast of the deep?


??????: Live? Live? How? How can I live? You are my answer. I am mad, I have fallen, I can no longer be. What can I do if I live? Please give me the death I seek; I have called you. I am no use to anyone let alone you. If I live, I will only tarnish your greatness. Please . . . I am only here for death.


??????: My little one, I will grant your deepest and darkest desire, but there is a price to pay. You will be reborn a creature by my side of my side. You will forget this life, as well as your madness, suffering, and death. Cleansed of all your memories, you will live again, for the rest of my time in these waters. You will swim with me and only me, the Beast of the Deep.


??????: I am silenced by you, watching, thinking of your words, you are asking such a strange demand, are you -the Great Beast- so lonely that you would want an inferior creator such as myself by your side? I am standing there, my eyes falling deep into it's yours. My surrounding slowly turning dark, I closed them and whispered three words, “I…accept…Cthulhu”.


??????: I, Beast of the Deep, consume all that you were, and all that you will be, returns.


??????: In the darkness there is light, I remember nothing who am I? where am I? there is another next to me, I should ask him.


??????: I am Cthulhu, we are in the deep and you are a beast like I, we are the same and we will swim these dark waters forever, together, as one. So, we will never be lonely my other half - I am by your side. Listen to my last words to you:


I am not your God.

I am Cthulhu.

I am you.

bottom of page